I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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