drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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