I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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