dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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