alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
why is half of my head shaved?
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