I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
