some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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