Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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