I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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