i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
