and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i out mim tonsoeep
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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