Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
time to smoke my breakfast
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
