oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
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I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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