We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
