her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
