I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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