We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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