bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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