My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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