Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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