At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
