never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
