I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
