So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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