Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
