We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
