You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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