If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize