I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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