he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
