it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
