can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
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I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
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If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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