Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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