Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
