dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
