Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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