I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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