There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
