Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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