Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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