you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
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