I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
