drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it glows. i had to have it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize