how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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