I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
