guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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