i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
