Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
