R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
