when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
