Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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