Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
