Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
