My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
