If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
