remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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