I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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