I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
