you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize