I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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