Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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