I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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